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 • Financial  • How Money Changes the Way you Love

How Money Changes the Way you Love

Money is deeply personal and exceptionally emotional.  The way we use money as a tool or security blanket is taught to us when we are young.  As we get older, we are taught that money is sacred or scarce.  We are shown that we can use our money to bless others or hoard it against future uncertainty.  Regardless of how you were taught to view money, your view affects the way you love.  

I am talking about platonic and passionate love.  From friendly to familial relationships, money always shows up.  In fact, it is well-known that finances or lack there of can break a marriage faster than most other attributes of in relationship.   

Consider the way you seek out relationships.  As adults, most of our relationships are determined by proximity.  This means that the places you frequent or where you regularly spend money (work, the gym, your fav coffee shop) dictate who you meet.  Should you branch out to a more high-end gym, you may entirely change the group of people you would encounter.   

Money also affects the power dynamic in a relationship.  Depending on the way you feel about money and how your partner is positioned in the relationship, as the breadwinner or not, you may feel that you have more say in the way money is spent.  Conversely, you can feel a lack of confidence or authority when speaking to your partner about money because you are not the main breadwinner.   

Money can also affect the way you display affection.  Will you allow for a larger gift-giving budget, or should you focus on experiences and more homemade gifts?  When you go on dates, do you expect to split the check or are you paying?  Of course, some decisions are more complex than simply the amount of money required or saved; however, it is quite common for money to be the main component of a decision-making process. 

Life is not static and does not occur in a vacuum.  This means that, depending on the situation, it is prudent to consider the abundance or scarcity of money to help make a decision, however, there is one way you can ensure that finances do not over take the decision making process in your relationships. 

Become more aware of your relationship with money.  Are you a spender or a saver?  Does it matter to you how others approach you with financial requests?  In what ways may money limit experiences when it doesn’t have to?  Take some time to journal and create a place of peace when it comes to your money.  Becoming more aware of how your financial life influences your social life will pay dividends.  It also ensures that when you get partnered up or have children, you know where you stand and why you stand there firmly.  You can communicate your financial desires more clearly and calmly to those around you and protect your established financial boundaries.