Saving a Struggling Marriage
IF WE LOOK TO THE BOOK OF CORINTHIANS IN
CHAPTER 13, WE FIND THAT “LOVE IS PATIENT; LOVE IS KIND AND
ENVIES NO ONE; LOVE IS NEVER BOASTFUL, NOR CONCEITED, NOR RUDE;
NEVER SELFISH NOR QUICK TO TAKE OFFENSE. LOVE KEEPS NO SCORES OF
WRONGS; AND THERE IS NOTHING LOVE CANNOT FACE; THERE IS NO LIMIT
TO ITS’ FAITH, ITS’ HOPE AND ITS’ ENDURANCE.”
We started dating around 15. At the time the only thing on our mind was having fun in the summer.
Fast forward seven years later and we’re married with a newborn.
Saying marriage is hard is an understatement. Adding children into the mix can increase a situations challenge. I think people see married couples in photos and think they have it all and they are perfect. I feel like the pictures never tell you how much work goes into the marriage. Marriage can lead to sacrifices, uncomfortable conversations, huge arguments, and emotional exhaustion. But how do you keep the spark alive? How do you keep the arguments to a minimum? How do you keep the conversations entertaining? What happens when you grow in two different directions? When do you decide to let go? It’s easy to give up. Staying and fighting for a relationship is what makes it work. Listening to your partner expressing their wants and needs and being able to have those difficult conversations to express your wants and needs is essential in a lasting relationship. Not only listening, but then making the necessary adjustments. It will not always be laughs and romance but if you are patient, and full of faith the high moments make the difficult moments worth it.
So, what happens when you feel like your relationship is at a low point? How does one go about it?
Below are a few tips I have found to be helpful, although I am not a marriage counselor I have been in a ten year relationship with my own fair share of low points.
- Date night
- Phones away while enjoying meals
- Quality time (no phones, or electronics) Giving someone your full undivided attention
- A “YES” day with the children
- Work on a project together (DIY or Cleaning out the shed)
Aside from some of these tips we must remember communication is key. Although it is very tough sometimes to find the right way to communicate something it is important that we are straight up with our partner. A lot of the times women feel like men should just know how we feel without us having to tell them directly. But that is our first mistake. They have no idea what you are thinking, they don’t know you are unhappy unless you express it, they don’t know that something they overlooked meant such a big deal to you. If you can find the right tone and words to express to your partner your issue or concern you have a better chance of saving the marriage. It’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time, practice makes perfect. You can always go to counseling sessions or write a letter to your partner if you are unable to communicate in person what is bothering you. Something is better than nothing.
These small steps will have a big impact in the long run.
If you feel like some of these tips were helpful, we would love to hear from you! If you feel like you need to vent and ask for some tips on how to solve an issue you can always write to our email and we will do our best to assist you.